123119

I guess I have a new boyfriend. He makes me laugh, he's good at communicating. He has goals that he's working towards. He's nice. He has a job. I really like him. No, he's not perfect, but I don't think it's possible to be.

I'm on book 35 and I will finish it today.

Been cleaning and reorganizing the house a bit.

Work's still going well.

I realized I technically write at least a little every day, even if it's insignificant.

I'm happy *knocks on wood* and there's still room for improvement, so I have hope. I also have faith that things will work out.

💖💖💖

121919

Single again. He was paying more attention to his electronics than me. He wasn't great at communicating. He just wasn't pulling his weight. I was more stressed than happy. It was making me irritated and depressed. Now I'm even more depressed because I didn't want to hurt him but he wasn't even trying anymore. I was getting mixed signals. I haven't volunteered for a couple months. I'd like to again but maybe somewhere else? Maybe. I haven't been exercising, and I even gained weight in the past few months, nothing significant really but some. I was writing every day and reading, but I've taken a couple off. I will of course get back to it. Work is great, I still love it even when things aren't going my way. I've been trying to save money in a few ways so we'll see how that pays off. I want to go to Seattle, hopefully for my birthday but if not I'll just postpone instead of cancelling. 

111319

The guy I'm dating is so sweet. Kinda clingy. But I just wanted to share, somewhere, that I saw 1111 with him. It was the second time we were hanging out, and the total for food was 11.11 so I truly feel like this is meant to be. I'm kinda scared, though, because of the past, but that's nothing to do with him. I also sent him a relationship request on 11/11 and of course he accepted.

110319

I've been talking to this guy. He really likes me. I kinda like him, too. They say you deserve the love you try to give everyone else. Well, I feel like he feels towards me how I usually feel towards others. He makes me feel seen. He's really sweet, it's adorable. He asked me to come over last night. I got really nervous, but I did. Come to find out, it was his little sister's birthday party. But even with a bunch of strangers there, I didn't really feel uncomfortable. He was respectful. He fed me. It was probably the best first date I've ever had, honestly. Backtracking a bit, I even turned down this guy I hooked up with before we started talking when he wanted to do it again (and I had really liked him at first). Something is different about this, and I like it.

101419

I don't even know what I want to say, I just feel like I should say something. Toni got loose, haven't found her. I got a Betta the other day, name's Mystique. I've been sketching every day for inktober. I've been reading, just a little. I've been getting on the exercise bike just about every day. I've been practicing for the recital every day. I've messed around on the guitar a couple times. I've been trying to take care of myself, and while I'm making progress, it still doesn't seem like enough. I'm coming to terms with some things about myself that hardly anyone knows. I got snakebites since the last time I posted, didn't even hurt (healing did a bit tho). My birthday's in a couple weeks. We had staff day at work the other day. It wasn't bad. I've missed quite a few weeks of volunteering. I've written a few things.

080619

I've been reading. I'm going to start back with singing lessons. I write sometimes. I haven't missed a day of work yet. I try to stay positive. My house is decent. I don't have much luck with plants. I want to take better care of the animals. I want a relationship. I'm trying. I've been worse.

Updates

I've grown up a bit. I got married and divorced. Lost all my grandparents (and one of my favorite aunts). Been through some jobs.
I shaved my head at the end of last year, after having a mohawk for a while.
I lost a lot of weight and gained it back.
I'm starting to get wrinkles.
I made it out of the 27 club (which is good since I'm not famous).
I haven't found my person and it consumes me sometimes.
I have a dog, two cats, and a snake.
I recently started working at the library and I love it. I also volunteer at another.
Last year was rough.
I'm still an unmotivated mess when it comes to hobbies.
I'm just trying to do my best as much as I can.